I will always be grateful that my girls and I got out. God stepped in and gave me the wisdom and strength to leave. It was not without a fight, though.
For 12 years I was psychologically, emotionally, sexually, and physically abused by my ex-husband. I was cheated on too many times than my stomach can handle to think about. One of his mistresses had a baby while we were still married. His family knew all about it and kept it from me, all the whole pretending to love me and my girls.
HPV, bacterial vaginitis, yeast infections, and panic attacks were normal for me. The health department showing up at my door telling me that I was exposed to syphilis was no cake walk, and the late night police visits due to neighbors calling the cops because they heard him yelling and throwing things at me was bittersweet.
It’s been 6.5 years since I said enough and 5 years ago this weekend, we got out and moved to Florida.
God has changed my life so much that it’s hard to imagine that I lived that life. It doesn’t feel like it was me. Many people don’t know about my past. But, it was my life and I will forever be thankful to Holy Spirit for speaking to me and surrounding me with amazing people during the hardest time in my life.
Only God to have given me the strength.
Believe it or not, I still deal with stalking and harassment. Having someone obsess over me is not flattering in the least. Thankfully, I have court orders that help protect us and his continued poor decisions have landed him with felony charges and 3 years probation. Drugs, alcohol, women, and weapons continue to be his vice. It’s unfortunate and sad.
Every once in a while the reality of it all hits me. Tears flood my eyes as I think “I can’t believe we made it out. WE MADE IT OUT!!”
That’s not something every abused woman can say. But I’ll tell you what. I pray that one day they will be able to say, “Praise God, I made it out.”
Abuse is never okay. There’s no love in it. None at all. It’s fear-based and is hell on earth.
Jesus set me free. 💕