Originally written on March 10, 2020, before the pandemic lockdowns began and my family’s safety was violated by intruders. I end this post with 2020 – the year of VICTORY. While most don’t feel that way about the year 2020, looking back, it sure was a year of victory. We (my family and I) overcame the attacks of the enemy with wisdom – and it had nothing to do with COVID. I’m sharing this post again because it’s interesting to look back and be reminded of where I was at certain times of my life. I pray that you may be injected with the courage and strength of our Almighty God to overcome the effects of evil and destroy any shame that has prevented you from living your Divine Design.
Journey Journal March 10, 2020
Censorship is one of the tactics the enemy has used throughout my entire life. This is not something I’ve always known. I just realized this in the last couple of months as I go through a mentorship course.
Sharing my feelings, my thoughts, my beliefs, and who I really am was always a careful calculation. While some would call it wisdom, and there are times it is, that’s not what I’m referring to. I’m speaking of fear that controls and manipulates my words and actions. I know I’m not alone in this. Unfortunately, I’ve found this to be all too common.
Over the Summer, the Holy Spirit started speaking to me about BEING authentic, raw, real, and vulnerable. The objective: getting rid of shame. Shame was the first immediate and evident fruit of human’s disobedience. Shame was sin’s reward.
I didn’t realize there were aspects of my life filled with shame. Shame was still censoring me in areas in my life. The shame was discovered when Holy Spirit began leading me down a path of discovering the Father’s love more deeply. When He became my focus, I noticed that shame was distorting my vision.
A key to moving into the depths of His love was vulnerability and authenticity. As I walked further and further into the ocean of His love and my feet suddenly couldn’t feel the sand under my feet, I just let go. When I let go, I became completely vulnerable and dependent on Him.
Surrounded by the ocean of His love, shame simply had no place to reside. I didn’t have to rid myself of it. Shame was simply overtaken by His love. As His love increased in my life, authenticity and vulnerability became a way of life.
As I seek my Father, I fall in love with Jesus, and partner with Holy Spirit – and boom – life. There’s no striving. Things just happen. When Holy Spirit leads me into truth, when He teaches me things, it is a call to transform, to become. While it’s a call to action, it’s not an action He’s calling me into. He’s calling me into becoming; into being.
The more I become, the clearer I see things. I’m able to decipher Him (God) from the one who wishes he was him. There was a time when the enemy used fear and shame as avenues to censor me.
I will use Divine Wisdom, but I will not be censored by the enemy. I am in the depths of the ocean of His love where I know who He is, because He surrounds me, and I know who I am because I am in Him. The confidence and assurance that come from such intimacy leave no room for shame. Without shame, there is no reason to censor the words that are given to me that flow from His throne, into me, and come out of me.
There are springs of living water that are flowing within me and I will not contain them any longer. This morning a wrecking ball tore down the dam and I sense the gushing. It is time! Shame is gone and censorship is no longer possible.
Love. What does it look like? The accurate question is, what does HE look like? I’ve seen Him. I’ve looked in His eyes. I’ve felt His embrace. It’s time that I share the depths of His love and what it really looks like.
2020 – the year of VICTORY!