❓Did you know that self-help methods have a 97% failure rate?

❓Did you know that all self-help approaches take the same concepts and just reword them or create action items specific to their field – yet the concepts are really the same as everyone else?

❓Did you know that people treat the Bible like a self-help book and many books have been written with the same concepts – accept they include Bible verses?

Yes, even those have a high failure rate.


Because when the focus is on 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝗼, at some point, the human willpower will come to an end – it’s the same concept to how we diet to lose weight.

While doing certain things are important or necessary for success, the focus shouldn’t be on the things we do.

The focus needs to be on 𝐰𝐡𝗼 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞. Success is more attainable when we focus on being who we want to become , instead of achieving the thing we need to do.

Over the last year, I made goals for myself, along with some other people. Those goals were focused on “who I am and want to become.” Tasks to achieve specific goals wasn’t the approach this time. It was simply, “I want to be a person who loves (as He loves), carries peace, and empowers.” I didn’t make these action items, but focused on that being who I am.

It was a slow start to the year, I’ll admit. There was a lot of changes going on inside me. But by this year’s end, I’ll have accomplished more dreams than I ever have before.

Why? Because I wasn’t measuring myself against tasks. I was simply transforming into who I wanted to become. That drove me to fulfill my God-given purpose – without much effort. My identity wasn’t caught up in the achievement, but in becoming more like HIM, so I can reflect Him better.

I’m not all there- I don’t think I’ll ever be. But I’m working my way there.

If you struggle with cycles, addictions, or clinical personally disorders, I encourage you to stop managing your behavior (alone) and start focusing on becoming who you want to be.

Being > Behavior

𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝗼𝐫 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝗼𝗺𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝗼 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝗼 𝐛𝐞. It’s an inside job that shows on the outside.

ps. This topic is very expansive and has a lot of facets. There are times where behavior modification has a place, such as getting over an addiction. One must stop what their doing to overcome it. However, to focus on quitting alone often results in setbacks. The focus should always be on who we are. The Why – as some would say.

Feel free to offer perspective, comments, or questions. They are welcome here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s