Up before the sun and everyone else to get some work in. With a full-time job, at times it gets tough to juggle it all, but God has given me the grace and wisdom. I had to let go of a lot of things over the summer. That wasn’t easy, but I’m now realizing why it was crtitical to do so.
It freed up my time to do the things God had placed on my heart years ago. There was never any time, so I sacrificed my calling for the sake of others’. While I don’t regret it one bit, I realize how I was putting others before God. In a sense I also kept killing my dreams so that others can accomplish theirs. It seemed noble on the outside, but at some point I realized that I didn’t think I deserved His calling on my life. I felt unworthy and small – like a nobody. The one good thing that came out of my insecurity was the championing I gave others because I didn’t want anyone to feel insecure like I did. I knew the value they offered and nothing should deter them.
What I wasn’t doing was looking at myself and saying those things.
It’s hard to say what got my attention to realize the insecurities I was experiencing. But, part of what broke me out of my stupor was rejection. When I realized that things were trying to shut down and shut up the message of God I carry, the more courage and audacity arose in me.
You can shut me up all day long. But the message of my King will never be shut down. Not as long as I live. I will CARRY and DELIVER the message as long as I have breathe. I may doubt my words. I may doubt my opinions. But just as I’m sure the sun will rise every morning, there are things I am sure about. They are all parts of the Good News.
So, know this. Rejection hurts. It always does. If it doesn’t, then there’s a disconnect. What rejection doesn’t do is define me. It doesn’t change who I am. It doesn’t break me, stop me, or kill me. As a matter of fact, rejection propels me. It’s my bow being pulled back. Yeah, it may sting for a bit, but I know enough to know that the more that bow gets pulled, the farther the arrow will go.
And soon…the arrow will be released. It won’t be tamed and it won’t be stopped. Once the finger releases the bow, the arrow will pierce the air and fly. It’s target, the bullseye. The practice has been put in. Precision, quality, and integrity are the name of the game now. And I’m ready to play.
Come and join the journey. It’s gonna be a fun one.