It’s been almost a year since I hurt my shoulder. When it first happened, I thought nothing of it. I rested for a bit and then went back to normal. What I didn’t realize is my rotator cuff was dealing with 2 tears.

After a few months, pain became part of my life and I lost my range of motion a little at a time. Eventually, experiencing pain 24/7 and unable to even wipe down my kitchen counter.

By the time I went to the doctor earlier this year, not only were the tears caused by the injury irreparable, but I had caused further damage by not dealing with it when it first happened. I’ll be sharing this experience and the lessons learned another time.

I went to physical therapy 3 days a week for 3 months. It was frustrating at times because it felt like I would never heal and surgery was going to be necessary. But, as I prayed about it I realized that I had some internal issues that were preventing my healing. I began to work with God with healing my heart (inner man/soul), and no joke, my shoulder began to improve in strength and range of motion. I no longer have constant pain. I can even clean with ease.

You read that right. I was doing all the same things to physically recover, but dealing with emotional, psychological, and spiritual issues is what really made an impact. You can ask my husband. It’s wild. I’ll be teaching on this at some point.

I graduated from physical therapy with about 65% healing and was sent home with a rehab program to finishing my recovery.

July is my 40th birthday month and I’m on sabbatical. All month I’m dedicating to God, but also to me.

Today on my run as I was talking to God, He said “it’s not selfish…”. He also told me I’m not the savior and I’ve been carrying things He’s not given me to carry. So, today I’m emptying my bag to repack it – leaving behind those things God didn’t give me Himself and making sure I have some things I’ve left out due to lack of room.

I’m ready to get back on the journey, but it’s going to look a bit different going forward. In honor of this new phase of my life, I’m getting back into things that make my heart happy, and one of them is fitness. Obviously I have to start ALL the way at the beginning because of my injury, but it’s time I lose the excuses and make the time because I truly believe it’s something I’m made to carry.

With the help of my coach, we found a program that will fit with my rehab. I started a program called LIIFT4 today. It’s frustrating to have to lift so light, but it was more I was able to do before. Paired with rehab and running, I’m creating new habits and getting ready for what’s ahead believing in full healing.

Maybe you’ve read this and began to think about somethings you may be carrying that may not be yours to carry.

Take a moment to reflect on what that is. Do you have any repacking to do?