𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻 ŏ̈d̆̈d̆̈b̆̈ă̈l̆̈l̆̈
It’s normal for people to meet someone and within just a few seconds make all sorts of assumptions. I know that people look at me and make assumptions. Some of the assumptions are right and some aren’t. That doesn’t bother me. I know it’s normal.
But, I’ll be honest. Sometimes I feel like an oddball. I don’t feel “normal.” I don’t feel like I fit in.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m surrounded by people who I love and I know they love me. Their words and their actions match-up. So, this is no reflection on whether or not I feel accepted. I do feel accepted by those who know me and love me.
I don’t think like everyone else. I’m not moved what most people are moved by. Popularity, fame, money, luxury, wealth; it doesn’t move me.
My own husband witnessed this when I met an internationally well-known popular itinerant speaker. I had been reading his books and listening to his teachings, but I’m not a star-struck person. He’s just like everyone else. He has a message from God which I honor, but I know many not-famous people who also have an equally powerful message from God. I was more interested in the bookstore that day than having a conversation in that moment with a famous speaker, teacher, and author.
As if my husband wasn’t surprised enough by that reaction; Later that day I walked into a Dunkin Donuts and saw someone who I had been learning from. He wasn’t as popular and had recently gotten into some turbulent waters morally, but I excitedly whispered to Mike who I saw sitting in DD and was ecstatic about it. So, we walked over. That was the highlight of my day. Talk about throwing my husband off.
But, why? 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲. Fame and fortune do not move me – at all. If I wanted that, trust me, I’d have it. The less popular teacher (in DD that day) helped me find my purpose. The famous one helped me live it out. Both important, but I place my value on purpose which is why my mission is to help others find and live their purpose.
I am not moved by the idea of speaking in front of large crowds, although I would seize the opportunity if it became available.
I am not moved by financial wealth, although I welcome it when it comes.
I am not moved by fame because I know that meaningful relationships are what brings fulfillment.
I am not moved by flattery because it often comes from a place of manipulation.
What moves me? Purpose.
I feel like an oddball. I’ve never felt like I belong and while I’m blessed enough to be surrounded by an amazing group of people I call Jesus House, I’ll be almost 40 and more times not, I still don’t feel like I belong.
It’s a fine line. In one sense it’s a dangerous feeling to have because it can lead to insecurity, loneliness, frustration, and anxiety. In another sense it makes me dangerously innovative because since I already feel that way, doing something that doesn’t fit the status quo or narrative has no effect on me – I already feel like I’m swimming against the current, so let’s keep swimming.
Why am I sharing this? Because I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Maybe what drives you isn’t the same as me, but the sense of “I don’t belong” is similar.
Let me leave you with 2 things.
- I have a free e-book that is an auto-biography of my spiritual journey. I’ve got 3 chapters written and it’s yours, free. You can download it at andreajohn.net
- A quote from Dr. Seuss
Why fit in when you were born to stand out?Dr. Seuss